Monday, March 14, 2011

Friends?

Maybe I am a cynic, a pessimist, or maybe just a realist, but it seems like people these days base friendships on the hedonist principal. Has friendship always been based on a mutually beneficial existence, or was it normal at one time to simply spend time with someone because you enjoyed their company, and experienced some ineffable but joyous feeling in their presence? I am not saying that everyone is looking to purely gain something out of their platonic partner, at least not always consciously, but somewhere along the road one or both people in the relationship develop expectations. I heard a friend say the other day that she was going through some hard times because of the people closest to her, and their inability to consider her when making decisions. I simply told her "stop expecting things of others, and your life will quickly become a great deal simpler". Is this wrong? Is it so hard to believe that most people should not be let into our inner circle? It doesn't seem difficult for someone to let you down when you serve little to no purpose in their life. In that case you become an "out of sight out of mind friend". In my opinion if you have to keep yourself constantly relevant then it might not be a relationship worth having. Maybe some of us just don't understand what a friendship is, or it's simply a case of semantics, and our definitions vary. I don't really know what constitutes a "friend", and I'm not even sure if I have any. Maybe my problem isn't so much with the people around me, but more so with the term and its connotation.

9 comments:

  1. I think that you're on the right track as far as not holding people to expectations. But at the same time, maybe your definition of friendship is maturing?

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  2. I hate the term "realist". It just sounds so stupid.

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  3. Most friendships hold little meaning, I've noticed. All based around getting drunk or playing games etc. I'm happy with my lack of friends/social life =]

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  4. i can say that i have few friends, who really are friends

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  5. To Kim
    Either you are very fortunate or they simply haven't irreparably disappointed you yet lol

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  6. I often find that I have a hard time letting people into my "inner circle," probably because then I'll have to trust them.

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  7. I have a lot of acquaintances, but only a few real friends.

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  8. Hi. I really enjoyed my brief visit on your site and I’ll be sure to be back for more.
    Can I contact you through email address?

    Please email me back.

    Thanks!
    Kevin
    kevincollins1011 gmail.com

    ReplyDelete